Two days ago, I warned my children that I would be serving them fish for dinner that night. They seem to do better when they have time to mentally prepare for the next Food Horror. I cooked Tilapia, the least fishy-tasting of the fish, preparing it with nothing other than olive oil and salt. Wonder of wonders, everyone liked it - including M&M, who declared that it tastes just like chicken. "We're over the hump!" I thought, mentally congratulating myself for my superb parenting skills.
The next night I cooked tilapia again (buying fish at Costco necessitated this). My expectations were high. I was giddy with the thought of four well-mannered children at my dinner table, thanking me profusely for the delicious meal lovingly prepared by their dear mother.
Beware of expectations. They will probably bite you in the butt.
This night, Emma whined that the tilapia was "too salty". I allowed her to switch to a less salty piece. Big Mistake. Sensing the chink in my armor, Abadoo joined the fight with her little sister in protesting the tilapia and the stir-fry veggies that came with it. Abadoo earned early bedtime for failing to eat the minimum required dinner. M&M earned early bedtime, too, and was also stripped of privileges for two days after yelling "this stuff is HORRIBLE!" in my face.
Apparently that hump we made it over was only the first hill on this roller coaster ride.
I hope I don't throw up.
Monday, August 24, 2009
Friday, August 21, 2009
Progress, Not Perfection
Everyone has their price. M&M, for example, will choke down three baby carrots or even three green beans if she's faced with early bedtime for refusing. For a really, really good dessert, she'll choke down the carrots, but not the green beans.
Everyone has their limit, as well. Buoyed up with my success over getting M&M to eat 2 broccoli florets and 2 pieces of chicken, I presented her with an average-sized serving of chicken tortilla casserole. The combined horror of tomatoes, food cross-contamination, and the sheer size of the portion sent her into a state of mind that accepted early bedtime rather than tackle that Mountain of Casserole Hell.
Being a Type A personality, I tend to focus on the goal, rather than where we are in the journey. I found myself regularly criticizing M&M for her less-than-perfect eating habits, rather than giving her credit for where she's come in two short weeks. She began acting out this past week, and I realized that, like me, she needed to hear what she'd done well. She also needed to know that my love for her doesn't fluctuate based upon how many green vegetables she ingested this week.
I told her I hope she's proud of herself for the new things she's tried and the new attitudes she's cultivating. We had special time together, just the two of us. She drank up the praise and the love.
We're making progress.
Everyone has their limit, as well. Buoyed up with my success over getting M&M to eat 2 broccoli florets and 2 pieces of chicken, I presented her with an average-sized serving of chicken tortilla casserole. The combined horror of tomatoes, food cross-contamination, and the sheer size of the portion sent her into a state of mind that accepted early bedtime rather than tackle that Mountain of Casserole Hell.
Being a Type A personality, I tend to focus on the goal, rather than where we are in the journey. I found myself regularly criticizing M&M for her less-than-perfect eating habits, rather than giving her credit for where she's come in two short weeks. She began acting out this past week, and I realized that, like me, she needed to hear what she'd done well. She also needed to know that my love for her doesn't fluctuate based upon how many green vegetables she ingested this week.
I told her I hope she's proud of herself for the new things she's tried and the new attitudes she's cultivating. We had special time together, just the two of us. She drank up the praise and the love.
We're making progress.
Monday, August 17, 2009
Days 3 - 5: Vacation With the Fam
So, it's been a little slack here on the Food Front. We've been hanging at the beach with 9 adults, 9 kids, and a dog. On the plus side, I'm happy to report that M&M ingested an actual piece of shrimp, a half ear of corn, and some iceberg lettuce, said food items being the requirement for partaking of the All-You-Can-Eat Dessert Bar. I have a sneaking suspicion that I could probably bribe M&M to eat anything if I offered a nightly All-You-Can-Eat Dessert Bar at our house. This strategy, of course, would negate any positive effect of eating healthier food in the first place.
Friday, August 14, 2009
The Creation of My Food Monsters, Part II
Our story left off with Yours Truly taking the path of least resistance by catering to my small children's food demands. My first wake-up call came at Thanksgiving with the in-laws, the year M&M was 4. On the table were eighteen sumptuous items prepared for our Thanksgiving feast; M&M refused to eat everything except the rolls. The in-laws' eyebrows disappeared into their hairlines. I was mortified and set to work immediately to correct the problem.
Beginning that day, I insisted that M&M eat foods that I thought she might like once she tried them. I forbade the eating of rolls and the 3 other things she would willingly eat. And I discoverd on that memorable trip that 1. I could not make M&M eat anything, and 2. M&M vomits when her stomach is empty for more than one meal. At the time, I was also raising a 5 year old, a 2 year old, and a baby. Deciding that regular vomiting was more than I could handle, I handed that child a roll. We were going to have to take the circuitous route to slaying the Food Monster.
Beginning that day, I insisted that M&M eat foods that I thought she might like once she tried them. I forbade the eating of rolls and the 3 other things she would willingly eat. And I discoverd on that memorable trip that 1. I could not make M&M eat anything, and 2. M&M vomits when her stomach is empty for more than one meal. At the time, I was also raising a 5 year old, a 2 year old, and a baby. Deciding that regular vomiting was more than I could handle, I handed that child a roll. We were going to have to take the circuitous route to slaying the Food Monster.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Day 2 - Eat a Taco; Win a Prize!
We had a Game Show Dinner at our house tonight. My kids earned the right to fill their taco shells with the ingredients of their choice, by eating the small spoonfuls of taco meat, shredded lettuce, and sour cream I placed on their plates. Once the spoonfuls were eaten, they could make their tacos any way they chose. To sweeten the pot, I set the timer for five minutes; anyone eating the spoonfuls before the buzzer earned a Surprise Dessert.
Abadoo, W., and Susie Q. all earned dessert. M&M, predictably, did not. I watched her face fall as she learned that she had to eat the dreaded spoonfuls anyway to avoid a 6:30 bedtime. M&M choked down the lettuce and beef (which she admitted weren't that bad) and ate her cheese-filled taco with crocodile tears running down her cheeks, as she watched her siblings enjoy their fudge pops. It was, quite possibly, the Drama Queen performance of the year, and I enjoyed it thoroughly. I have to give her credit, though; she is making a concerted effort to stop making "eew!" sounds and gagging noises during mealtime.
Interesting Sidenote: my kids are beginning to act like the Japanese "Iron Chef" judges as they try new foods. M&M declares that the ground beef tastes like hotdogs and describes the lettuce as "sweet"; Susie Q. swears that the sour cream tastes just like Sour Patch Kids. Could squid ice cream be somewhere in their futures?
Other Interesting Sidenote: my kids discovered that sometimes, the ugliest strawberries are the sweetest. When the less-than-perfect berries stood between them and their Fudge Pop, they choked them down and were surprised that they actually tasted yummy.
Day 2 Summary: My kids are learning that 1. They will not die by trying new foods, 2. Trying new food can be fun and surprising, and 3. Refusing to try new foods is their right, but withholding Fudge Pops is Sheriff Mommy's right.
Abadoo, W., and Susie Q. all earned dessert. M&M, predictably, did not. I watched her face fall as she learned that she had to eat the dreaded spoonfuls anyway to avoid a 6:30 bedtime. M&M choked down the lettuce and beef (which she admitted weren't that bad) and ate her cheese-filled taco with crocodile tears running down her cheeks, as she watched her siblings enjoy their fudge pops. It was, quite possibly, the Drama Queen performance of the year, and I enjoyed it thoroughly. I have to give her credit, though; she is making a concerted effort to stop making "eew!" sounds and gagging noises during mealtime.
Interesting Sidenote: my kids are beginning to act like the Japanese "Iron Chef" judges as they try new foods. M&M declares that the ground beef tastes like hotdogs and describes the lettuce as "sweet"; Susie Q. swears that the sour cream tastes just like Sour Patch Kids. Could squid ice cream be somewhere in their futures?
Other Interesting Sidenote: my kids discovered that sometimes, the ugliest strawberries are the sweetest. When the less-than-perfect berries stood between them and their Fudge Pop, they choked them down and were surprised that they actually tasted yummy.
Day 2 Summary: My kids are learning that 1. They will not die by trying new foods, 2. Trying new food can be fun and surprising, and 3. Refusing to try new foods is their right, but withholding Fudge Pops is Sheriff Mommy's right.
The Creation of My Food Monsters - Part I
Before I had kids, I heard a story about a mom who actually packed boxes of Pop Tarts to feed her Picky Eater while travelling abroad. I was appalled at her bad parenting skills. Pride goeth before a fall, apparently.
I started strong, priding myself on feeding my babies pure breastmilk and homemade baby food. No jarred Gerber Meat Sticks or Trix yogurt for my brood. My plan began to go south the day I fed baby Abadoo the pureed green beans I'd lovingly spent the last half hour preparing. She promptly spit them out. It wasn't many months later that Abadoo displayed her talent of taking a complete bite of taco, spitting out all the green bits I'd snuck in there, and ingesting the rest. My one year old child could already outsmart me in the food department. I persevered.
M&M, my second-born, is also my most creative child, and that creativity extended to the ways in which she chose to eat her food. The child could make a mess out of a slice of American cheese, mushing it into the high chair tray with her finger before scooping up the gloppy mess and getting perhaps one-half of it into her actual mouth. The other half usually dropped down into her actual diaper, which was exposed because I had prudently stripped off her clothing before mealtime.
Which is why I struck Red Sauce off our Mealtime List. Both Abadoo and M&M had enjoyed tomato sauce on their pasta; but I got tired of scrubbing dried red sauce off my walls and my clothing. Big Mistake. By the time they were old enough to refrain from rubbing red sauce into their scalps, they wanted nothing to do with the stuff, even on pizza - unless said pizza was ordered from Chuck-E-Cheese's. As we rarely went to Chuck-E-Cheese's after my kids became old enough to realize that you needed tokens to actually play the games there, red sauce disappeared from our repertoire. Since my homemade pies were made with whole-wheat crust and cheese, I rationalized that it was still healthy, and I caved to their demands for sauceless pizza.
The Food Monsters were now in control.
I started strong, priding myself on feeding my babies pure breastmilk and homemade baby food. No jarred Gerber Meat Sticks or Trix yogurt for my brood. My plan began to go south the day I fed baby Abadoo the pureed green beans I'd lovingly spent the last half hour preparing. She promptly spit them out. It wasn't many months later that Abadoo displayed her talent of taking a complete bite of taco, spitting out all the green bits I'd snuck in there, and ingesting the rest. My one year old child could already outsmart me in the food department. I persevered.
M&M, my second-born, is also my most creative child, and that creativity extended to the ways in which she chose to eat her food. The child could make a mess out of a slice of American cheese, mushing it into the high chair tray with her finger before scooping up the gloppy mess and getting perhaps one-half of it into her actual mouth. The other half usually dropped down into her actual diaper, which was exposed because I had prudently stripped off her clothing before mealtime.
Which is why I struck Red Sauce off our Mealtime List. Both Abadoo and M&M had enjoyed tomato sauce on their pasta; but I got tired of scrubbing dried red sauce off my walls and my clothing. Big Mistake. By the time they were old enough to refrain from rubbing red sauce into their scalps, they wanted nothing to do with the stuff, even on pizza - unless said pizza was ordered from Chuck-E-Cheese's. As we rarely went to Chuck-E-Cheese's after my kids became old enough to realize that you needed tokens to actually play the games there, red sauce disappeared from our repertoire. Since my homemade pies were made with whole-wheat crust and cheese, I rationalized that it was still healthy, and I caved to their demands for sauceless pizza.
The Food Monsters were now in control.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Day 1: Chicken/broccoli stir-fry with brown rice
I decided to ease my children into the world of Normal Food by making a stir fry with 4 ingredients: chicken, broccoli, soy sauce, and rice. The fact that my spice cabinet is all but empty worked in their favor. M&M, my 9 year old and the toughest nut to crack by far, started out by expressing doubts about eating the soy sauce. I have her over a barrel, though, since she knows her social life is in jeopardy unless she learns to choke down vegetables with an attitude of gratitude.
Throwing caution to the wind, I actually dumped the chicken and broccoli on top of the rice, causing Food Cross-Contamination. My eyes dared them to complain; they were silent.
Day 1 results: W., my 6 year old son who loves broccoli, and SusieQ, my 5 y.o. daughter, who is actually not picky at all (which I attribute to eating sushi all through my pregnancy with her) cleared their plates, declaring they "loved it" and going back for seconds.
Abadoo, age 10 1/2 (which is much different than 10) ate all her chicken and rice, but tried to pretend she forgot to eat her broccoli, which she quickly choked down when Sheriff Mommy threatened early bedtime.
Eminem ate exactly one piece of chicken, one broccoli floret, and a forkful of rice, which I think took her exactly 4 minutes and 59 1/2 seconds, since I'd given her a 5 minute time limit to eat the minimum.
I'm calling today a Success. Tomorrow: tacos. With lettuce.
Throwing caution to the wind, I actually dumped the chicken and broccoli on top of the rice, causing Food Cross-Contamination. My eyes dared them to complain; they were silent.
Day 1 results: W., my 6 year old son who loves broccoli, and SusieQ, my 5 y.o. daughter, who is actually not picky at all (which I attribute to eating sushi all through my pregnancy with her) cleared their plates, declaring they "loved it" and going back for seconds.
Abadoo, age 10 1/2 (which is much different than 10) ate all her chicken and rice, but tried to pretend she forgot to eat her broccoli, which she quickly choked down when Sheriff Mommy threatened early bedtime.
Eminem ate exactly one piece of chicken, one broccoli floret, and a forkful of rice, which I think took her exactly 4 minutes and 59 1/2 seconds, since I'd given her a 5 minute time limit to eat the minimum.
I'm calling today a Success. Tomorrow: tacos. With lettuce.
Where the Wild Things Are: At My Dinner Table
I have created Food Monsters. I am not proud of this fact and have spent lots of time and energy making excuses for my kids' eating habits. Two events that happened yesterday hit me upside the head with the Ugly Truth: that my kids are ridiculously Picky Eaters, and that I am their Enabler.
Event #1: My friend Laurie drove M&M, my 9 year old daughter, back home after a sleepover, and I asked Laurie how it went. Laurie went into great detail over all the foods M&M refused to eat and how hard it was for her to plan meals when my daughter spent the night. I was mortified. I knew that M&M rolled her eyes and made gagging noises while eating raw carrots at my dinner table. But I had no idea she was so rude elsewhere. I immediately informed M&M that she was on Sleepover Restriction until she could prove to me that she could accept whatever food I put in front of her without gagging or eye rolling.
Event #2: I saw the movie Julie & Julia, and it inspired me. No, not to be a narcissistic blogger. It reminded me of the joy I used to find in cooking, in creating something delicious and nourishing. The daily complaining of four young, unrefined palates slowly killed my love affair with cooking. I let them win the Food Battle, to my detriment - and to theirs.
Today I informed the little anklebiters that there's a new Sheriff in town, named Mommy. Sheriff Mommy will no longer accept whining, complaining, eye-rolling, or gagging noises at the table. Sheriff Mommy will no longer be accommodating personal food preferences, but will be making healthy, balanced meals - and probably won't be making pasta for awhile. Sheriff Mommy expects each child to take at least one bite of everything on their plates. There will be no substitutions. Unpleasant Consequences will result for the offenders.
Tonight we start The Picky Eaters Project. Starting tonight, the Food Monsters will not be sitting at my dinner table - but they might be found in their beds waiting for the sun to go down, if they're not careful. Game On.
Event #1: My friend Laurie drove M&M, my 9 year old daughter, back home after a sleepover, and I asked Laurie how it went. Laurie went into great detail over all the foods M&M refused to eat and how hard it was for her to plan meals when my daughter spent the night. I was mortified. I knew that M&M rolled her eyes and made gagging noises while eating raw carrots at my dinner table. But I had no idea she was so rude elsewhere. I immediately informed M&M that she was on Sleepover Restriction until she could prove to me that she could accept whatever food I put in front of her without gagging or eye rolling.
Event #2: I saw the movie Julie & Julia, and it inspired me. No, not to be a narcissistic blogger. It reminded me of the joy I used to find in cooking, in creating something delicious and nourishing. The daily complaining of four young, unrefined palates slowly killed my love affair with cooking. I let them win the Food Battle, to my detriment - and to theirs.
Today I informed the little anklebiters that there's a new Sheriff in town, named Mommy. Sheriff Mommy will no longer accept whining, complaining, eye-rolling, or gagging noises at the table. Sheriff Mommy will no longer be accommodating personal food preferences, but will be making healthy, balanced meals - and probably won't be making pasta for awhile. Sheriff Mommy expects each child to take at least one bite of everything on their plates. There will be no substitutions. Unpleasant Consequences will result for the offenders.
Tonight we start The Picky Eaters Project. Starting tonight, the Food Monsters will not be sitting at my dinner table - but they might be found in their beds waiting for the sun to go down, if they're not careful. Game On.
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